Challenges for the next paintball video game

This is an open challenge to everyone and anyone to completely and accurately simulate the total paintball experience. This is a lot more difficult than most people think - throw some new guns in, some flashy disco style uniforms, and some fistfights and there you go. Really, I'm looking for a greater level of realism than most other people.

Video game creators have done all sorts of shooter games, getting progressively more complex and refined, even in a narrow genre - for example, play the first Medal of Honor and then Call of Duty 3; quite a difference all around in how they've stepped up everything from graphics to interactivity. We need this level of commitment and effort from the paintball game creators, too. So let's get down to details!

One of the first things I noticed with Greg Hasting's Max'd was the total lack of between-paintball interaction. You play a tournament, maybe buy a gun from Actionvillage, and then enter yet another tourney. Here's some ideas for what really happens, along with their in-game values:

1. Delivering pizza for three months to get enough money to enter the next tournament. (+$200, +10lbs of fat from the ones that got "dropped")
   
2. "The Haggler" mini-game where you try to get the bro deal from your local shop. (Save $5, +100 to Shop Manager's Irritation Score)
   
3. Sneak around the nets at practice - save money on entry at the local field! (Save up to $25!)
   
4. Whoops! Tank out of hydro - better get a fresh looking bottle cover, at least! (-$35 - you could go cheaper, but without Dye on it, you wouldn't be a pro)
   
5. Damn, your team is kicked out of the last field in a 100 mile radius - better not light up the rental groups anymore. (-100 Field Manager Stress Points, +100 to your rep, brah!)
   
6. Your snake player gets a DUI. Better find some hired guns to fill out the roster. (Add on hours and hours of tense negotiations surrounded by pot smoke and DerDer DVD's being used as coasters).

I'm sure I'll come up with more - but that's a pretty good start. Just blowing a whistle and shooting downrange like crazy doesn't encompass the TOTAL EXPERIENCE that is tourney paintball.

But really, a lot of that fast-n-furious action can wear a person out. When you're kind of over the tournament experience you need to unwind with the next great business simulation:

PAINTBALL SHOP AND FIELD MANAGER: THE GAME

Yes, all of the tense nail-biting moments of being a real-life paintball manager can be yours on one exciting disc! Who could put down all of the minigames like these?:

Answering The Phone. This mini-game can pop up at ANY TIME during gameplay, but mostly when you're actually doing something very complex. When you pick up the phone, you'll be launched into one of the following conversations:

1. "My paintball gun doesn't work. Can you tell me how to fix it? I don't know what kind of gun it is. It just won't shoot."
2. "Do you carry green gas for airsoft guns?"
3. "Congratulations! Your business has been pre-approved for a Merchant Services acounnnnnalskjgahslgdhaskdhglhs "
4. "When do you close?"
5. "Do you have any sniper barrels?"
6. "Uh. I have a question for you? Do you sell paintballs? (Yes) Uh. Em. Uhrh. Oh. I have another question for you? Do you have new barrels for my gun? I don't know what kind of gun it is. Ur. Uh. Ok. "
7. "When do you open?"
8. "Do you have paintballs for those paintball blowguns?"
9. "Do you have any VM-68 parts? No? What kind of paintball store are you?"
10. "Do you buy used paintball guns? (Sometimes) Ok, I have a broken Autococker. WHAT? FIFTY BUCKS? I PAID OVER A THOUSAND FOR THIS THING!"
11. "Do you guys have any Draxxus Gold? How much? Jeez, I can get it for $25 a case online."
12. "Do you guys fill CO2 tanks?"

When you're not answering the phone, you will move around to different menus in the game to accomplish tasks that will generate thousands of dollars! (Provided, of course, that you started with millions of dollars and aren't hoping to ever turn a profit.)

Negotiating With Paint Distributors: Try to fight the price increase!
Filing Receiving Vouchers: Don't screw up your inventory counts.
Physical Inventory: Pick up every single object in the shop. Write it down. Repeat monthly.
Dealing With Customers: Old guys will come in telling you they need their kids gun fixed so they can go shoot the neighbors cats. Kids will come in (all of which are required by law to have major speech impediments) and ask for you to fix their gun so they can shoot their little brother in the eye. Teenagers will come in looking to find the gun that shoots the farthest.
CO2 Fills: They take forever, and pay very little! BONUS GAME: Take the $32 tank they just bought at WalMart out of the package and then fill it!
Listen to Complaints: "Jeez! Paint is expensive!" (Yeah, not like ten years ago - oh wait)
Ordering New Product: After this mini game it takes you directly to "Praying for UPS To Come, Someday"
Dealing with Sales Reps: See if you can detect when they are lying!

BONUS Game: Make sure to check Actionvillage every day, because you're only going to find out about price drops from them - not your reps!

FIELD GAMES:

Repair the Nets. Again.
Blow Up Bunkers When Its 25 Degrees Out
Yell At Kids Dryfiring In Staging Area
Please Keep Your Goggles On
Hey! Do You Have A Wristband?
No, You Can't Use The HPA Fill Station For Your CO2 Tank.
Please Keep Your Goggles On!
Rearrange Airball Field For Local Pro Team
Kick Out A Wiper
Break Up Fight
CAN YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST KEEP YOUR GOGGLES ON?

Seriously, though. This would make a great game. I'd play it if I could see through the tears.